Signs of Unhealthy or Abusive Relationships

• Texts you all the time to find out where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing
• Has to be with you all the time
• Refuses to listen to your opinion
• Makes all the decisions in the relationship
• Makes fun of you or puts you down when you are alone or with friends
• Does things to upset you or make you cry
• Wants you to change who you are
• Asks you to give up activities you enjoy
• Won’t let you hang out with your friends or family
• Pressures you to do things you are not comfortable with

Teen dating abuse is a pattern of controlling, abusive, and/or aggressive behavior in a dating relationship.  Anyone can be involved in an abusive dating relationship.  Dating relationships can be abusive even if there is no hitting - abuse can be verbal, emotional, sexual, or physical.

• Verbal – calls you names, insults or criticizes you, gets angry very quickly, and threatens to hurt you, someone you know, or themselves.
• Emotional – acts possessive, jealous, controlling, tells you what to wear, keeps you from friends or activities, calls or texts you frequently to find out where you’re or who you’re with, refuses to accept the relationship is over, forces you to compromise your beliefs.
• Sexual – any unwanted kissing or touching or kissing or pressuring you to have oral sex or any other sexual contact.
• Physical – shoves, throws things at you, intimidating you by blocking doors, slapping, hitting, painful grabbing or pinching, pulling your hair, and strangling you. 

In some relationships the abuse only happens occasionally while in others in can happen every day. If your relationship involves one or more signs of unhealthy or abusive relationships talk to an adult you trust – for example, your parents, pediatrician, school counselor, school nurse, community youth leader, or faith-based youth leader.  Keep talking to adults and find the help you need.

You can also find out more information on unhealthy or abusive relationships and the Idaho Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Project by logging on to www.nomeansknow.com.

If you think you might be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship talk to your parents, to your school counselor, or an adult you trust.  If you need to talk to someone right now, someone who’s trained to help, call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.  No names.  No judging. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 (TTY).