Should you kiss someone the first time you are hanging out? Should you lie to your parents about where you are going? Should you drink alcohol or use drugs? 

You make decisions all the time, and friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends can pressure you to make bad decisions. Sometimes good decisions are hard to make. Learning communication skills, listening skills, and ways to deal with conflicts are all part of learning how to make good decisions. 

Do you use effective communication skills in your relationships? 

It’s important to make your voice heard in an assertive, appropriate, and respectful way. 

Also, it’s important to be an active listener – show your friend, or boyfriend or girlfriend you are really listening by making eye contact, ignore distractions (don’t text other friends when someone is talking to you), and repeat back what was said to make sure you heard correctly. If you aren’t sure about what was said, don’t jump to conclusions. Ask the person questions so you can understand what they said and how they feel. And, don’t be afraid to express your feelings. Practice active listening skills with your friends and you will see a difference!

How do you deal with conflicts in your relationships?

Conflicts are a normal part of relationships. Conflicts can happen when you and your friends, boyfriend, or girlfriend don’t agree about ideas, facts, or beliefs. When there is a conflict, do you:

• Avoid conflicts by putting off decisions?
• Try to work out a solution that will make everyone happy?
• Refuse to participate?

Learning to deal with conflicts is hard! And no one way is the best way. Knowing the different ways to respond to conflicts can help you in uncomfortable situations!  

Are you making healthy decisions in your relationships?

Making good decisions is an important part of healthy relationships. Friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends make lots of decisions together – How often should we hang out? Are we texting too much or spending too much time on the phone? Can we choose a movie or an activity that we both enjoy?  Do we spend time together during lunch?

Here are some things to think about when you have a decision to make:

• Identify the problem and know how you feel about it. 
• Think about the decisions you could make, both good and bad?  What do you want to happen?
• Know what’s important to you.  It’s always a good idea to think about sticky situations before you are in the situation – staying out past your curfew, being pressured to spend time with someone, being offered alcohol, or kissing someone on the first time you hang out - so you can think about how you want to react!
• Think about all the possible solutions.  Respect your friends or boyfriend or girlfriend ideas for a solution, but don’t compromise your opinions, beliefs, and boundaries!
• Act on the decision you think is best! 
• What did you learn about your decision after you made it?  Was it a good or bad?  Why?